Countdown to Glory: 6 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 6 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

By the end of this email, you too can be Six Sigma Certified. For we shall discuss all six pillars of the Six Sigma philosophy (as revealed by GE/Sheinhardt Wig Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming, Jack Donaghy): Teamwork, Insight, Brutality, Male Enhancement, Handshakefulness and Play Hard.

TEAMWORK: There were six original NHL teams, back when hockey players didn't wear helmets, have teeth, keep their gloves on to fight, or abstain from alcohol between periods. The good old days. The Steelers have won 6 Super Bowls, all of which with quarterbacks who might not be "all there" up top. With regard to Roethlisberger's recent Milledgeville escapade, I know it surprised me that a Steeler QB could act worse than Terry Bradshaw in those 1-800-COLLECT commercials. "Soo-Chee? Looks more like BAIT!" Also, when Alf shows more human emotion than you, Terry, it's a sign that maybe acting ain't your gig. Jordan won six rings with the Bulls. That's pretty great, but Bill Russell won ELEVEN with the Celtics - and he did it all wearing jersey number 6.

INSIGHT: British intelligence service MI-6 has insight. One may have significant insight when one has a sixth sense. What would we call it if a particular psychic were blind, deaf, anosmic, or aguesic? Or faced more than one of those? Like Stevie Wonder, who I just learned couldn't see or smell. Is it still a "sixth sense"? Or if it's called "second sight," what if the psychic were blind? As you might notice, I normally send these emails late at night: these are the sort of things I think of when I'm exhausted.

BRUTALITY: 666 is the number of the beast, sayeth Revelations and Iron Maiden. Mike Tyson, perhaps the most brutal boxer of my lifetime, was stopped just six times in his career (against 50 wins), including his final fight, when he suffered a TKO by "The Clones Colossus" Kevin McBride in, you guessed it, the sixth round. Pirates are brutal, and thankfully the waters around Africa have been protected since the early 19th century by the American Navy, today represented in that region by the Sixth Fleet. Criminals can be brutal, and lucky for those accused of brutal crimes that the US Constitution's Sixth Amendment provides certain rights.

MALE ENHANCEMENT: The Six Million Dollar Man was definitely enhanced, Further, men can enhance themselves by doing sit-ups and getting a six pack. Or they could just think of Tricia Helfer, Number Six on the (more recent version) TV show Battlestar Galactica. Or even better visualize Jenna Von Oy, Six from Blossom.

HANDSHAKEFULNESS: Just go to this website for more information.

PLAY HARD: I mentioned Bill Russell, but lots of stars had their #6 jersey retired: Stan Musial, Dr. J, Steve Garvey, and any number of Central Floridians and Northern Californians - the Orlando Magic and Sacramento Kings have retired #6 in honor of their fans, the "Sixth Man".

So come get certified AWESOME on Saturday - Join TEAM 33. If you can join us for the Walk at Atlantic Station on May 22, please do! Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. AND YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD! For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Infiltrate a secret cabal of vegetarians plotting to brainwash animals into killing the rest of us (you'll have to go to the website to see what that one means). And we'll have cake.

And visit http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/ for more.

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!