Countdown to Glory: 22 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 22 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

1/3 of the way to the walk and the world has been scorched by the heat of TEAM 33. Sure, it's been subtle, but you've seen it. For the ladies of TEAM 33, it was the handsome dude who offered you the living section at Starbucks, and the crossword hadn't even been completed yet. For the guys, it's the way the Ethiopian lady at the snack counter in the food court "accidentally" gave you an extra quarter of change. It's in the way that other cars seem to let you merge at your convenience. It's in the way the McDonald's drive through gives you adequate packets of ketchup without making you beg like a child. It's in the way the kid behind the counter at Blockbuster actually believes you when you tell him that you returned "Hot Rod" on time and they must've lost it. In a word: RESPECT. TEAM 33 gets it. TEAM 33 expects it. People know to give it. And now that you know the benefits, it's time to sign on and get your share. RESPECT.

22 is a number that gets respect. Sure, it's not 33, but it's like our little brother, a smaller multiple of 11.

22 is the jersey number of Emmitt Smith, the all time leading rusher. It's also the number of Clyde "The Glide" Drexler. And reigning Heisman Trophy winner Mark Ingram. And impending Rookie of the Year and multiple-time champion of KRAKEN lookalike contests, Jason Heyward (are we going with "the J-Hey Kid" or the "KRAKEN"?). And for one of the oddball things I did not know until today, 22 was the jersey number of high school basketball player, Vice Presidential candidate and former half-term governor Sarah Palin.

22 is probably the favorite number of America's MCs. Jay-Z can rhyme 22 twos in a single verse. Ludacris "can't lose with 22s". Often it is the genius of the wordsmith to create an ambiguity that can taunt and bewilder the listener with multiple clever interpretations. For example, can Luda not lose with .22 caliber ammunition, or with his 22 inch rims? The true answer may be left to the audience, a dance floor onto which we lead the diction out, twirl it, dip it, have a few moments of awkward eye connection, and then take the diction home for an evening neither of us would ever forget. We were talking about guns and rims, right?

22 has the best nicknames for a number ever. For example, DEUCE-DEUCE, as in the smaller sized malt liquor bottles frequently sold in 22 oz. portions. This is probably the ideal size - a 40 oz. just gets too hot by the time you get to the bottom unless you are drinking really fast, but isn't the true purpose of malt liquor to savor the delicious craftsmanship of the brewer?

Or how about "DOUBLE DEUCE"? Of course, we all know the Double Deuce well as the finest establishment to wet one's whistle in Jasper, Missouri. Where else are you going to have a house band featuring Jeff Healey on slide guitar, a former bartender who happened to be the founder of one of the most influential punk bands of all time, and a deposed cooler who is a member of multiple Professional Wrestling Halls of Fame? Sidle up to the bar and see if you can catch any of the rays of enlightenment beaming from the current cooler, a philosophy-reading, yoga-performing, doctor-seducing mullet-master named Dalton. A renaissance man who can only offer nuggets of wisdom like "pain don't hurt."

Or perhaps you'll be lucky enough to find yourself gently caressed by the perfectly groomed mustache hairs of "legendary" cooler Wade Garrett. Just don't try to perform a striptease on stage, or hijack a shipment of liquor, or drive a monster truck through a used car dealership. Bad things will ensue, and uppance shall come.

So 22 is probably the first number on this countdown that can stand on the same ground as 33. We'll let the little guy tag along. Jason Heyward, malt liquor, and Roadhouse are about as good as it gets.

So we have just 22 more days to get as many people involved in Arthritis Walk Atlanta as possible. If you can join us, please do! Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come to the walk, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Fight arthritis pain as if you were Sam Elliott wearing white denim and punching hillbillies who've had a few too many. And we'll have cake.

21 more emails to come. What ridiculous movie from your childhood will I cite tomorrow? STAY TUNED AND JOIN TEAM 33!!!

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!