THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 26 DAYS TO GLORY!!!I have no idea who hacked into my email account yesterday, but his grammar was TERRIBLE. Apologies to all.
Just got back from DC tonight, and 26 is pretty much the lamest number I've faced so far, so let's do this checklist-style:
Jersey Numbers? Snooze. Rod Woodson, Wade Boggs and Chase Utley are about as good as it gets. Also there's disgraced England and Chelsea footballer John Terry. Maybe you don't know who that is, but when the US plays them in South Africa this summer, you'll hate hate hate hate him 10 minutes into the game, if not sooner.
From History? Well, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died on July 4, 1826. That might've caused the crack in the Liberty Bell. Hugh Hefner was born in 1926. Yeah, I'm kind of impressed. He was pretty much the only person on Wikipedia's list of famous people born in 1926 who is still alive. And kicking. The 26th Amendment gave 18 year olds the right to vote. Considering what 18 year olds these days seem like, perhaps we made a mistake there.
Teddy Roosevelt was the 26th President, and he's totally awesome. 10 Amazing Facts about Teddy Roosevelt:1) He had an eidetic memory but that didn't make him a nerd.
2) He was a successful college boxer and continued boxing until he suffered a detached retina in a match WHEN HE WAS GOVERNOR OF NEW YORK.
3) As a Sunday School teacher, he was once reprimanded because he slipped a dollar to a kid who beat up a bully. Praising ethical violence in church with money. And he ended up with a Nobel Peace Prize.
4) He graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Harvard and started Columbia Law School but had the good sense to quit before it infected his very essence.
5) He graduated from college in 1880, entered public life in 1881, and announced that he was "retiring" to the Dakotas in 1884. HE RETIRED 4 YEARS INTO HIS CAREER. AWESOME!!!
6) While in the Dakotas, he filled his time hunting down horse thieves. The world's most dangerous game is... MAN!
7) One of his best friends was Seth Bullock, the incredibly rad sheriff of Deadwood. That's right, one of his best friends was a guy who told Wyatt Earp to get lost and Earp actually listened. Bullock was so tough that in his 50s, he was a captain in the Rough Riders in the Spanish American War. That's the Timothy Olyphant character in the HBO series. Teddy's best friend. 8) He was an avid singlestick player. No, I didn't know what singlestick was either. It's like fencing with canes. And apparently you're allowed to hit the crap out of your opponent.
9) He got shot on the campaign trail in 1912 but, using his hunting knowledge, correctly surmised that the bullet hadn't gotten to his vital organs and refused to go to the hospital. The bullet had been slowed by a 50 page speech he was planning to give, and he actually did give. He spoke at a campaign event for 90 minutes, all the while bleeding. They never took the bullet out.
10) For his second honeymoon, he climbed Mont Blanc. For comparison, on my honeymoon I got terrible sunburn and Montezuma's revenge and thought I'd been tested by fire.
WHAT A TOTAL B.A. Tell me you can read that list and think that any of the last 10 presidents would do anything more than soil himself in the presence of Teddy Roosevelt. "Yeah, George, nice work on that brush. I sure can't do that because I've got a detached retina and a bullet in my chest. But you've got those scrapes from falling off a segway and that pretzel nearly killed you, so we're pretty much the same." "Hey Barry, I liked the nice crease you had on your nipple-high jeans when you bounced that changeup on opening day. Myself, I can't seem to keep a nice crease in my jeans, what with all the HORSE THIEF BLOOD caked in there. Like hoops? How about some 2 on 2? You can have Reggie Love. I'll take my buddy Seth here who hangs people in defiance of armed lynch mobs. We might be 90 and 100 years dead, respectively, but you still might not want to tiptoe into the paint, if you know what I mean."
Our presidents are so boring these days. Sigh.
OK, Teddy Roosevelt can be an honorary member of TEAM 33. But just about everything else about the number 26 is lame-o.
So join Teddy's mustache and the rest of TEAM 33 and help the millions of people affected by Arthritis. We make it easy for you to join TEAM 33 by following the link below:
http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341
Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Win a Nobel Prize in Badassery. And we'll have cake.
25 more emails to come. No need to wait any longer though. Just do it. C'mon. All the cool, dead presidents are doing it. JOIN TEAM 33!!!
If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!
WHAT A TOTAL B.A. Tell me you can read that list and think that any of the last 10 presidents would do anything more than soil himself in the presence of Teddy Roosevelt. "Yeah, George, nice work on that brush. I sure can't do that because I've got a detached retina and a bullet in my chest. But you've got those scrapes from falling off a segway and that pretzel nearly killed you, so we're pretty much the same." "Hey Barry, I liked the nice crease you had on your nipple-high jeans when you bounced that changeup on opening day. Myself, I can't seem to keep a nice crease in my jeans, what with all the HORSE THIEF BLOOD caked in there. Like hoops? How about some 2 on 2? You can have Reggie Love. I'll take my buddy Seth here who hangs people in defiance of armed lynch mobs. We might be 90 and 100 years dead, respectively, but you still might not want to tiptoe into the paint, if you know what I mean."
Our presidents are so boring these days. Sigh.
OK, Teddy Roosevelt can be an honorary member of TEAM 33. But just about everything else about the number 26 is lame-o.
So join Teddy's mustache and the rest of TEAM 33 and help the millions of people affected by Arthritis. We make it easy for you to join TEAM 33 by following the link below:
http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341
Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Win a Nobel Prize in Badassery. And we'll have cake.
25 more emails to come. No need to wait any longer though. Just do it. C'mon. All the cool, dead presidents are doing it. JOIN TEAM 33!!!
If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!
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