Countdown to Glory: 31 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 31 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

It has occurred to me that I may be burying the lede on these emails, and that a few of you may not have read all the way to the bottom of the previous updates before deleting. Well, let me open with the most important information for those of you who do not really want to continue receiving these updates.
Do not fret. This correspondence can stop immediately if you would like it to. All you have to do to make this annoyance disappear is the following two things: (1) go to the website for TEAM 33 that I have linked below and either join TEAM 33 or donate any amount to TEAM 33, and (2) reply to this email (or any of the updates) and tell me you do not want to continue receiving these emails. Do those two things and you will not get any of the impending 30 messages.

Now, if you are a glutton for punishment and want to continue receiving these ridiculous emails, you don't have to wait until the day of the walk to join or contribute to ensure that you'll keep getting the updates. Even once you sign up, I'll keep you on the distribution list until you tell me to stop.

I suppose here's the spot where I need to insert some legal disclaimer about how these emails are not intended to be spam. If you really want to stop receiving these emails, the prospect of clicking the "delete" button is just too burdensome, and you simply cannot bring yourself to nominally support a great cause, I will oblige. I cannot vouch for your inability to sleep at night due to all the regrets you'll have for missing out on being a part of TEAM 33. [Now THAT'S how you do a disclaimer!]

One more clarification: You do not have to attend the walk to join TEAM 33. You don't have to do the actual walk even if you attend. You don't have to join the team to make a contribution, and you don't have to make a contribution in order to join the team (though, y'know, this is still a fundraiser, so I hope you do make a contribution). I know how busy the spring is for everyone, so please don't feel like you can't be a part of this great endeavor just because you have a scheduling conflict. JOIN JOIN JOIN!

So, moving on. The countdown continues. People are getting excited about TEAM 33, and other teams are starting to worry. Team Take Control (an annual leader among walk teams) held a kickoff today, and there was a rumbling concern over the prospect that TEAM 33's awesomeness will overshadow all other teams. Team Troutman Sanders, led by Dan Ludlam, will sense the same trepidation tomorrow at their kickoff.

The truth is this, though: other teams need not fear. TEAM 33 is a benevolent ruler. TEAM 33 cowers to no one, and will not bind the hands of others. We hope all other teams succeed in gaining members and raising funds (it's all going to the same place). We cannot abide by one thing though: the suggestion that any other team will perform with the sort of class, skill, intellect and machismo that TEAM 33 shows daily. As the immortal poet Shawn Carter once said (I paraphrase to avoid email censors), "you gotta little dough, that's cool with me; but none of y'all can fool with me." We wish the other teams well, but they shouldn't press their luck. Gauntlet, thrown. Also: Dan, I've been informed that you can join 2 teams. So you've got that going for you.

31 days to the walk.

I'm sure you're thinking of the 31 Flavors at Baskin Robbins, but they have way more than 31 flavors now - seasonal flavors, flavors of the month, etc. If even Baskin Robbins can't stand behind the number 31, you just have to know that it's not as great a number as 33.

31 is known for one awesome thing, though: it's the jersey number of my favorite Atlanta Brave of all time, Greg Maddux. Well, he's my favorite Brave until this season. Last night, a number of prospective TEAM 33 members and I went down to the Ted. When Jason Heyward golfed out the tying homer with one out in the ninth, the Mad Dog may have slipped into second. Side note: as many as 8 future members of TEAM 33 could be seen on ESPN's SportsCenter last night - the #1 highlight of the night! The game winning homer landed directly in front of us. [UPDATE: LOOK FOR THE RED JACKET] That's right, the power of TEAM 33 extends to affecting the results of baseball games. Was this a coincidence? Of course not. TEAM 33 rules so much that our gravitational pull turned a substandard Nate McLouth (really!) bloop single into an earth-shattering home run.

Wait, where was I? Oh. Maddux. Yes. He was fantastic. And he's the only professional athlete/celebrity I've ever been told I look like. It's probably the glasses, doughy abdomen, lack of a jawline and semi-sarcastic speech pattern. But hey, 355 wins, over 3000 strikeouts, future hall of famer! And I look sort of like him! Good enough for me.

Maddux was great, and everyone loves ice cream, but 31 still isn't as as great as 33. Perhaps we'll get an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins to celebrate my birthday on May 22, but that day is all about 33 - and the millions of people fighting arthritis pain.

So if you haven't done so already, mark your calendars for Arthritis Walk Atlanta on May 22, 2010, 10:00 AM at Atlantic Station. Come join me in a 1 or 3 mile walk to raise awareness and help find a cure for arthritis and the dozens of arthritis-related diseases. All ages and ability level are welcome and dogs too. If you can't make it, your support is greatly appreciated!

Arthritis is the number one cause of disability for American adults and affects over 45 million people. Chances are that you or someone very close to you has a form of arthritis. Every day the Arthritis Foundation is working to improve the lives of people with arthritis and get closer to a cure. We can definitely use your help!

We make it easy for you to join TEAM 33 by following the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Become legendary. Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. The ghosts of Renaissance painters will howl, wishing for the return of their limbs to be able to paint your visage. And we'll have cake.

30 more of these emails are coming your way. And I assure you, they WILL get more esoteric, bizarre and confusing. But they will still arrive daily until you take action. There is an easy way to make this annoyance stop. JOIN TEAM 33!!!

Please spread the word to anyone you know - you can feel lucky (maybe? just a little?) for being in my contacts list, but there are thousands of others out there fantastic enough to join TEAM 33. Feel free to promote Arthritis Walk Atlanta to everyone you know.

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!