Countdown to Glory: 12 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 12 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

Twelve is a bit of a religious number. 12 apostles. 12 Tribes of Israel. 12 Greek Gods in the Pantheon. 12 Labors of Hercules. 12 Days of Christmas. 12 signs of the zodiac.

Twelve is also important for the government. 12 jurors. 12 regional Federal Reserve Banks. And, of course, the Majestic 12 committee to continue the cover-up of alien invasions.

Twelfth Night is a Shakespearean comedy, which was reinterpreted as the teen-comedy "She's the Man" starring Amanda Bynes as the girl posing as a boy. I have not seen this film, so I cannot vouch for whether it is good or not. However, any movie starring Channing Tatum in one of the lead male roles is bound to require mad tight acting, yo. Also, David Cross needs money. I can, however, get behind Vinnie Jones as a soccer coach. Only would his on-field propensity for grabbing opponents by the danglers serve to ruin the ridiculous plot?

Movies: I can't figure out what is the best of the many movies with 12 in the title.

- It's not Ocean's Twelve, which is only memorable because Catherine Zeta Jones never looked better.

- It might be 12 Angry Men, but I had one big plot problem with it: the knife. The evidence presented stated that the knife was unusual, but then Juror #8 produces a supposedly identical one from his pocket. First off, that seems like they're considering facts and circumstances not in evidence. Second, two knives could look alike superficially, but there could be significant forensic details not visible to the naked eye and unique to just one knife. Third, and most importantly, HOW DID THE JUROR GET A KNIFE INTO THE COURTHOUSE TO TAKE INTO THE DELIBERATION ROOM? That knife he produces sways the first other juror to acquittal. Without Juror #8 bringing in the second knife, acquittal never happens. That's always bothered me.

- Twelve Monkeys? I liked it, arguably it produced the first evidence that Brad Pitt could actually act, and the film seems quite prescient, considering the 21st century terrorism fears. That's good, but not the greatest.

- That'd be The Dirty Dozen. Yep. That's #1, because it has Jim Brown sprinting and throwing grenades. And Lee Marvin being awesome. And Charles Bronson being sarcastic. And Telly Savalas being creepy beyond belief. And Nazis getting killed.

E. King Gill is the original 12th Man, which is a pretty awesome tradition at Texas A&M. In 1922, when the Aggies were playing the defending national champs Centre College, players started getting hurt at an alarming rate. The coach feared that they'd not have enough players to finish the game. So Gill came out of the stands and donned the uniform of one of the injured Aggies.

He didn't get in the game, but was the only player wearing the Aggie uniform on the sidelines (everyone else was injured). Now, all students at Texas A&M call themselves the 12th Man and stand the entire game, as if they are ready to get in the game just like Gill. Also, the Aggie football program has used walk-ons on kickoffs, with one wearing the number 12 in honor of Gill. One other thing: because the students are the 12th Man, there is the view that when the Aggies score, they all "score" - and that's why Texas A&M students kiss their dates after each touchdown or field goal.

12 is one of the quarterback numbers of choice: Tom Brady, Terry Bradshaw, Jim Kelly, Roger Staubach, Ken Stabler and Broadway Joe Namath.

"12 Play" is the debut album from musical genius and crazy person R. Kelly. Yes, it featured the hit song and classically romantic love poem, "Bump n' Grind". I am not kidding when I say that, notwithstanding "Bump n' Grind," the following are ACTUAL TITLES of songs on this album: "Freak Dat Body," "Sex Me Pts. 1 and 2," "Your Body's Callin'," and, finally, his magnum opus (and, yes, this is an ACTUAL TITLE), "I Like the Crotch on You." R. Kelly, you never cease to astound me.

Alright, 12. You've worn me down. 12 is awesome. I can't deny it. It's still not as great as 33, but it's awesome.

Join TEAM 33. If you can join us for the Walk at Atlantic Station on May 22, please do! Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Plan a top secret assault on the wehrmacht forces of Arthritis. And we'll have cake.

Four in one night! That deserves some sort of award, right? I know just the way: JOIN TEAM 33!

Finally, THE PREVIOUSLY-HINTED MASSIVE ANNOUNCEMENT GOES LIVE TOMORROW. YOU WILL BE IMPRESSED, AMUSED AND A LITTLE CONFUSED.

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!