Countdown to Glory: 2 and 1 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 2 DAYS AND ONE DAY TO GLORY!!!

I could waste all of our time by going on and on, but really, let's just focus on the all caps news:

WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.

Let me repeat that.

WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL. WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL. WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL. WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.

HOLY JEEZMANIMINEE WE JUST HIT THE GOAL.

At approximately 10:18 PM, with almost 12 hours to spare, we crossed the $3300 threshold. Unbelievable. I still don't believe it.

You all made this happen. Your generosity is incredible. I'm so grateful it's making me almost speechless. Tomorrow is going to be amazing - we're raising a great amount of money and a massive amount of awareness for arthritis. What you've done is going to affect thousands of people. This is really great. Blown away.

So I'm going to phone this in and have a beer. The birthday starts now. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Oh, and if you haven't joined or contributed just yet, you still can. For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

And visit http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/ for more, including a very special birthday photo.

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. YOU ALL RULE!

Countdown to Glory: 3 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 3 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

I just said this a moment ago, but I need to say it again. This might be my last chance to make the pitch. Well here it is: JOIN TEAM 33. You have a chance to help millions of Americans challenged by arthritis and over 100 related diseases. When I started this little project, I set a goal based on an arbitrary number - $3300. I didn't really think we'd get anywhere close to it. But here we are on the cusp of passing it. It's been incredibly heartwarming and exhilarating to see all this support you've given. THANK YOU SO MUCH. And there is still time. We're just a little bit away from the magic goal. You can be the one to push us over the line. And if you are looking for something fun to do on Saturday morning, come on out to Atlantic Station and walk with us. We'll have a tent there. There'll be music, games, kids, dogs, a Hall of Fame baseball player and, oh yes, cake. This is your chance at IMMORTALITY. Click the link down at the bottom. It's a good cause. And if I've offered you a couple of seconds of semi-entertainment each day for the last month or so, that's got to be worth something, right?

THREE IS A MAGIC NUMBER. It's what makes up our magic number, 33.

I've hit a lot of three stuff already. So I'll just hit the most important thing.

3 is the number retired by the Atlanta Braves for Dale Murphy. I do not need to say more, but I shall. Dale Murphy played in more games in the 1980s than any other baseball player - even Cal Ripken. Nobody had more total bases and only Mike Schmidt hit more home runs in that decade. Seven All-Star team selections, 5 Gold Gloves, 4 Silver Sluggers, 2 MVPs (in consecutive seasons). Barry Bonds, Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris are the only other outfielders to win consecutive MVPs. His character is impeccable. While the last two decades are tainted with performance enhancers, Dale Murphy relied on milk. And equally important, Dale Murphy inspired my dog's name. He deserves a bust in Cooperstown.

Other awesome threes:

Babe Ruth

The Intimidator

Three Kings

Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds"

Tripel Belgian ales

3 Ninjas

The Three Stooges

Three Wolf Moon t-shirts

The Three Tenors

Three-toed sloths (MUST WATCH CLIP)

Three Cups of Tea

Three Philosophers Ale

3 MCs and One DJ

Three Dollar Cafe wings

Three Sheets with Zane Lamprey

The Three Musketeers movie (according to Charlie Thompson)

Three Men and a Baby.

And finally, we cannot mention the number 3 without mentioning those three INfamous heroes that saved the village of Santa Poco, Mexico: Lucky Day, Dusty Bottoms and Ned Nederlander. They faced down the terror that is El Guapo and didn't flinch. Now, for some shyness is their personal El Guapo. For others, a lack of education is their El Guapo. For the Three Amigos, El Guapo was a big, dangerous guy who wanted to kill them.

And for over 47,000,000 Americans, Arthritis is their El Guapo. But you can spend the next 24 hours sewing a mariachi costume and meet me at Atlantic Station. We'll face down El Guapo together using the strategy from "Amigos! Amigos! Amigos!". Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. AND YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD! For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Every person who joins TEAM 33 will receive a private, personal serenade from yours truly of Lionel Richie's "Three Times a Lady." And we'll have cake.

And visit http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/ for more.

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!

Countdown to Glory: 4 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 4 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

Yes, I'm a couple of days behind... and since most of these emails go to your office, this might be my last chance to make the pitch. Well here it is: JOIN TEAM 33. You have a chance to help millions of Americans challenged by arthritis and over 100 related diseases. When I started this little project, I set a goal based on an arbitrary number - $3300. I didn't really think we'd get anywhere close to it. But here we are on the cusp of passing it. It's been incredibly heartwarming and exhilarating to see all this support you've given. THANK YOU SO MUCH. And there is still time. We're just a little bit away from the magic goal. You can be the one to push us over the line. And if you are looking for something fun to do on Saturday morning, come on out to Atlantic Station and walk with us. We'll have a tent there. There'll be music, games, kids, dogs, a Hall of Fame baseball player and, oh yes, cake. This is your chance at IMMORTALITY. Click the link down at the bottom.

FOUR.

Just about everything comes in packs of 4. The Fab Four. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. The Four Food Groups. Four Seasons. Four cardinal directions. Four Gospels. You know all about that.

Let's instead talk about some 4s that I did not know about until today:

Did you know that elephants were the only animals on earth with four knees?

Did you know that in many Asian languages, the number 4 sounds just like the word for "death" and therefore it's considered unlucky? In Asia, tall buildings even skip the 4th floor and 40 through 49th floors (like western buildings do for the 13th floor). Even major corporations take this into account by skipping the number four in their product lines? No Microsoft Windows 4 (it was Windows 95). No Nokia series 4 phones.

Did you know, or at least does it now occur to you, that the video game Tetris is so named because each of the pieces that fall down have 4 blocks (tetra- is the prefix for four in Greek)?

Did you know that there is actually a World Championship Tournament of Four Square? For adults! Seriously!

Did you know what Reba McEntire, Al Gore, Jackie Kennedy Onassis, David Letterman, Johnny Cash, the guy who created Garfield, and Herschel Walker have in common? They're all alumni of the agricultural youth club 4-H.

Did you know that the Continental Congress didn't actually vote for independence on July 4th? It was actually 2 days earlier that a resolution of independence passed. The Declaration of Independence was drafted and signed over the next 2 days. Even John Adams wrote, contemporaneously, that Americans would celebrate July 2nd for generations.

Did you know whether Wrangler Jeans will be retiring Brett Favre's number 4 t-shirt that he wears in commercials? I've always wondered if Favre always wears a shirt with his jersey number on it when hanging out with the boys and playing a little mud football. Also: I think Brett Favre is annoying. (Other number 4s: Bobby Orr, Lou Gehrig).

Anyway, we're down to the Final Four numbers. Now is the time for you to have your "One Shining Moment." Give to TEAM 33 and help push us past our goal. This is your chance to beat the buzzer (my lord I'm groaning at my own writing tonight... ugh). JUST DO IT! JOIN US ON SATURDAY. Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. AND YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD! For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. 1,2,3,4, tell me that you're giving more. And we'll have cake.

And visit http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/ for more.

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!

Countdown to Glory: 5 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 5 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

It isn't the third Thursday of April, but I'll give you all a high five for your generosity and support.

Just a few days left, so there's no time to take five.

I'm only bugging you a little bit more, so when I ask don't take the fifth.

We're getting so close to the $3300 goal, and when we hit it I might just drink a fifth of Maker's Mark.

Yes, FIVE. We're getting very low in the numbers, so now I have ample material to write about. I know some of you were wondering if I was going to write more about the Russian space program mining on the moon, but now I don't have to ramble.

Five is all over the place in music: Dave Clark Five, Jackson Five, Maroon Five, Five-Eight, Five for Fighting, MC5, Pizzicato Five, The Fifth Dimension, Jurassic Five, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five and Ben Folds Five. I saw Ben Folds Five at the [points to sky] Georgia Theater in 1995. Ben Folds broke a half dozen piano strings during his performance, and each time he'd walk around, open the piano, yank out the broken string and throw it into the ground. Great show. Luniz got five on it. Beethoven's fifth was a truly original answering machine message.

Five is huge in movies too: Dolly Parton punished Dabney Coleman from 9 to 5. Chris Tucker punished our eardrums in The Fifth Element. Stallone punished Tommy Gunn Morrison in an alley in Rocky V, which may or may not have ever happened. Also, it disturbs me greatly that there have been at least five of the following movies: Saw, Kickboxer, Child's Play, Hellraiser, Leprechaun (and the 5th Leprechaun movie was "Leprechaun in the hood" but was unfortunately not set in Mobile, Alabama), American Ninja, Highlander, Death Wish, Beethoven (the dog not the composer), Air Bud, The Howling, Mortal Kombat, The Prophecy, House (horror movie not Hugh Laurie), and the Dirty Harry movies (the fifth of which featured Oscar nominees Clint Eastwood, Liam Neeson and Patricia Clarkson as well as should've-been-nominated at least once Jim Carrey). And they're in the process of making a fifth Rambo movie and a fifth "Fast and Furious" movie. OK Hollywood, I think Spike TV and the SyFy network have enough to fill the overnight hours. You can slow down on churning out total crap.

On the other hand, one of the greatest film performances of the 1980s, if not all-time, was a character whose name includes the number 5: yes, of course I'm talking about Johnny Five of Short Circuit.

There are five olympic rings. There are five players on each basketball team. Some great #5 jerseys: Jason Kidd, Kevin Garnett, Albert Pujols, George Brett, Brooks Robinson, Johnny Bench, Joe DiMaggio, Paul Hornung, Donovan McNabb, Reggie Bush, Carles Puyol, Michael Essien, Fabio Cannavaro. Mariusz Pudzianowski has won the World's Strongest Man competition five times - the only person ever to do that (no, not even Magnus ver Magnusson). The most any jockey has won the Kentucky Derby is five times - Eddie Arcaro and Bill Hartack. Brazil has won the most World Cups - five. Rick Swenson holds the record for most Iditarod Dog Sled race wins, you guessed it - 5. Five men have won the Tour de France five times, with only Lance Armstrong winning it more. Evander Holyfield claims to be the only 5-time heavyweight champion of the world (disputed because his last belt is barely recognized as legitimate and another of his belts came from beating a "paper champion" when Lennox Lewis semi-retired).

So FIVE is a champion's number. But is it as great as 33? NO. Here's why: TEAM 33 is absolutely killing it for fundraising for this year's walk. All of you have done such an amazing job and been so generous that our team is pretty much #1 in terms of per-donor fundraising. You are all making a difference and I am so thankful to all of you.

BUT WE'RE NOT DONE YET!!! No, the goal for TEAM 33 was $3,300 and we are so close! You can help push us over the top. Anything that you can do to support us would help us. And helping us means helping millions of people afflicted by the 100+ arthritis related diseases. People like Isabella:

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/health/2010/05/19/juvenile.arthritis.cnn

So come celebrate our greatness with me on Saturday - Join TEAM 33. If you can join us for the Walk at Atlantic Station on May 22, please do! Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. AND YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD! For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Have a five... five dollar... five dollar footlong (try to get that out of your head!). And we'll have cake.

And visit http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/ for more.

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!

Countdown to Glory: 6 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 6 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

By the end of this email, you too can be Six Sigma Certified. For we shall discuss all six pillars of the Six Sigma philosophy (as revealed by GE/Sheinhardt Wig Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming, Jack Donaghy): Teamwork, Insight, Brutality, Male Enhancement, Handshakefulness and Play Hard.

TEAMWORK: There were six original NHL teams, back when hockey players didn't wear helmets, have teeth, keep their gloves on to fight, or abstain from alcohol between periods. The good old days. The Steelers have won 6 Super Bowls, all of which with quarterbacks who might not be "all there" up top. With regard to Roethlisberger's recent Milledgeville escapade, I know it surprised me that a Steeler QB could act worse than Terry Bradshaw in those 1-800-COLLECT commercials. "Soo-Chee? Looks more like BAIT!" Also, when Alf shows more human emotion than you, Terry, it's a sign that maybe acting ain't your gig. Jordan won six rings with the Bulls. That's pretty great, but Bill Russell won ELEVEN with the Celtics - and he did it all wearing jersey number 6.

INSIGHT: British intelligence service MI-6 has insight. One may have significant insight when one has a sixth sense. What would we call it if a particular psychic were blind, deaf, anosmic, or aguesic? Or faced more than one of those? Like Stevie Wonder, who I just learned couldn't see or smell. Is it still a "sixth sense"? Or if it's called "second sight," what if the psychic were blind? As you might notice, I normally send these emails late at night: these are the sort of things I think of when I'm exhausted.

BRUTALITY: 666 is the number of the beast, sayeth Revelations and Iron Maiden. Mike Tyson, perhaps the most brutal boxer of my lifetime, was stopped just six times in his career (against 50 wins), including his final fight, when he suffered a TKO by "The Clones Colossus" Kevin McBride in, you guessed it, the sixth round. Pirates are brutal, and thankfully the waters around Africa have been protected since the early 19th century by the American Navy, today represented in that region by the Sixth Fleet. Criminals can be brutal, and lucky for those accused of brutal crimes that the US Constitution's Sixth Amendment provides certain rights.

MALE ENHANCEMENT: The Six Million Dollar Man was definitely enhanced, Further, men can enhance themselves by doing sit-ups and getting a six pack. Or they could just think of Tricia Helfer, Number Six on the (more recent version) TV show Battlestar Galactica. Or even better visualize Jenna Von Oy, Six from Blossom.

HANDSHAKEFULNESS: Just go to this website for more information.

PLAY HARD: I mentioned Bill Russell, but lots of stars had their #6 jersey retired: Stan Musial, Dr. J, Steve Garvey, and any number of Central Floridians and Northern Californians - the Orlando Magic and Sacramento Kings have retired #6 in honor of their fans, the "Sixth Man".

So come get certified AWESOME on Saturday - Join TEAM 33. If you can join us for the Walk at Atlantic Station on May 22, please do! Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. AND YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD! For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Infiltrate a secret cabal of vegetarians plotting to brainwash animals into killing the rest of us (you'll have to go to the website to see what that one means). And we'll have cake.

And visit http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/ for more.

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!

Countdown to Glory: 7 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 7 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

Seven is the perfect name, sayeth George Costanza. But is he someone you want to trust?

For so long six was the number of the devil, so there seem like a whole bunch of things that probably should've numbered six, but people jammed one extra thing in there so it wouldn't be considered evil or something. Like the colors of the rainbow: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. Can anyone really tell the difference between indigo and violet? There's blue and then purple. But Newton was all scared of Beelzebub, so he made up a distinction where there was none. Fraidy cat. That apple hitting his head must've jarred the manliness out of him.

Similarly, there are seven days just because of this irrational demon fear. Everyone knows that Monday and Tuesday are really just one day. One miserable, never-ending day.

The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World included the Temple of Artemis near Ephesus, Turkey. This wonder's end was pretty remarkable, because it was destroyed thrice. First, it was burned by a dude named Herostratus, whose sole motivation for burning it was to become immortally famous for this misdeed. And it worked. Alexander the Great rebuilt it, but the Goths sacked it. Who knew that Joy Division would be such good plundering music? The temple was finally and completely destroyed by St. John Chrysostom. This guy is confusing to me for a couple of reasons. First, how does one become a saint by destroying something considered a wonder to the whole world? Second, his most famous theological discourse some consider the basis for 1500 years of anti-semitism. How does that lead to someone getting churches named after them (including a Melkite Catholic church on Ponce de Leon). So here's what I found out about the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World: destroying them only leads to great things. Western civilization is odd.

Seven Deadly Sins. Seven Sacraments. Seven hills of Rome. Sail the seven seas.

There are no fewer than seven awesome movies with ties to the number seven [WARNING, SOME SPOILERS AHEAD]:

1. The Seventh Seal: play chess with Death in a plague-stricken hellscape. AWESOME.

2. Seven Samurai: murder bandits, seduce villagers, carry very cool swords. AWESOME.

3. The Magnificent Seven: pretty much the same as Seven Samurai, but with Charles Bronson, Steve McQueen and other hard men, and the best score ever. AWESOME.

4. The Seven Year Itch: Marilyn Monroe, white dress, subway vent. AWE-SOH-HOMMMME.

5. Seven: No, I won't spell it with a number as the "v" because that's dumb, but still, Gwyneth Paltrow's annoying head arrives in a box. AWESOME.

6. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: First full-length animated film and to date, possibly the most beautifully drawn. And my wife sometimes looks like Dopey. AWESOME.

7. Every James Bond Movie: Double O SEVEN. AWESOME.

One not awesome movie with a tie to the number seven: Seven Pounds, where Will Smith kills himself with a jellyfish. NOT AWESOME.

Seven is Mickey Mantle, John Elway, Matt Stafford, Phil Esposito, George Best, David Beckham, and Eric Cantona. Cantona is responsible for one of the best journalist-bashing quotes ever: "When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much." Also, he once did a flying jumpkick into a heckling fan. Also, there's that guy who blew a hundred million dollars and wasted incalculable talent because he liked to watch dogs kill each other.

So come help jumpkick arthritis - Join TEAM 33. If you can join us for the Walk at Atlantic Station on May 22, please do! Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. AND YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD! For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Fill up a Big Gulp with greatness. And we'll have cake.

And visit http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/ for more.

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!

Countdown to Glory: 8 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 8 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

Eight is Enough. And I've had enough of this plateau on our team site. The pledged contributions came in great at the beginning, and nobody's been writing me to get me to stop sending these emails, but we've slowed down way too much - right when we should be kicking in as a sprint to the finish.

I've also had enough of the pain that arthritis and arthritis-related diseases cause. We can make a difference in the lives of millions of people: by contributing to the Arthritis Foundation you'll support cutting edge research seeking a cure and with every person that joins TEAM 33 we raise awareness. It would be the best thing in the world if you HELP PUT ME OUT OF A JOB. Seriously. I'd gladly find something else to do if more than 47 million Americans didn't have to live in pain thanks to a cure.

So let me talk, somewhat cryptically about the number 8. Cryptic, because I appreciate privacy. The number 8 was worn by a star baseball player from the 1970s. A Hall of Famer who was named to multiple all-star games and once named Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year. After retirement, he lived in Atlanta for a while. I was lucky enough to meet his daughter-in-law and two of his grandchildren early in March at the Arthritis Foundation's Advocacy Summit in Washington, DC. Their family has been affected by Arthritis in ways that I could not have imagined. The ballplayer's son, a veteran of the first Gulf War, had recently been diagnosed with severe osteoarthritis (for which veterans are specifically at-risk). That's tough, but not like the grandkids: three diagnoses of juvenile rheumatoid arthritis.

You may not know much about JA, so let me offer some background. JA is a chronic inflammation of the joints, muscles, ligaments and bones, and can also affect numerous internal organs. Around 300,000 kids nationwide have a form of JA, but thousands may be undiagnosed because JA can be incredibly difficult to spot (because it can appear in numerous ways and because it's hard to get good information from children). It's likely a genetic disease, and that's where a lot of the recent research has been devoted. JA is chronic: the pain never goes away. It's not like a bad knee that acts up only when the weather is bad. There isn't a cure (yet), only pain management - and when you're dealing with children, that means a longer period of time to manage pain. And it's not easy to manage pain in joints - most methods include various doses of steroids (which can wreak havoc on immune systems and internal organs) and joint replacement. I met an 11 year old girl at the same summit with two replaced hips. She knows very well that they won't be her last. It's heartbreaking to hear about how this disease affects kids - kids who've had this terrible disease imposed upon them just because of bad luck. I met a six year old in a wheelchair because of JA. I met a 7 year old who talked about how he had to give up every sport he played because of the joint pain, and when he couldn't play sports he tried playing the guitar, but now the joints in his hand are starting to hurt too. These are little kids who want to be like everyone else, but who are prevented from doing what everyone else does because of this disease.

So back to our famous ballplayer's family. Three kids diagnosed with JA. And beyond the physical and emotional pain, there's real-world struggles that JA brings with it. Pain medication isn't cheap. Three kids with JA means hundreds of dollars a month in co-payments for doctors appointments and prescription drug payments (and they have insurance). It's not easy to cover all those bills with one kid in college and two on the way very soon. But this family doesn't give up - they fight the disease by pushing harder. The two kids I met were incredibly brilliant. JA has affected them physically and financially, but it's toughened them psychologically, and driven them to work harder and succeed in school. The eldest is on scholarship in college. The next eldest is on track for the Ivy League. The youngest looks like he already belongs in a People Magazine article about a 17 year old who wins an election for Mayor or something. They're great kids - kids who are doing the right thing because they have a mother who showed them that their challenges make them stronger.

These kids didn't deserve a chronic disease that makes every morning a struggle to uncoil themselves just to get out of bed. They didn't deserve nights when they had to choose which kid would get to take the medicine. They didn't deserve anything about JA. And they haven't let it get the best of them either. These are the kind of kids I think of when I think of a cure. I don't want another generation of kids in wheelchairs, or using crutches their whole life. I don't want to hear about kids getting their second set of replacement hips before they can drive. I don't want to see the exhaustion in their parents' eyes, or the misdirected hint from some of these parents that they did something to cause this. I've had enough of it.

And we're not entirely behind the 8 ball here. We're making strides every day - working with brilliant researchers at top institutions, with the government and with the pharmaceutical industry to get closer every day to a cure. We're working with thousands of volunteers to make every day a little less painful. We're getting closer. JOIN TEAM 33 and help us solve this.

Back to the goofiness, briefly:

8 jerseys: Steve Young, Archie Manning, Kobe Bryant (for a while), Iron Man Cal Ripken, Yogi Berra, Alexi Ovechkin, Cam Neeley, Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard, Andres Iniesta (for Barca), Xavi Hernandez (for Spain).

8 pop culture: Eight Men Out was an excellent baseball movie. Hard Eight was an undercooked debut film by P.T. Anderson. "Eight Crazy Nights" was a bad movie based on Adam Sandler's Hanukkah song, which sometime in the last decade went from being funny itself to being sort of smile-inducing nostalgic and not really funny at all on its own merits. 8 Seconds was the very best rodeo movie starring Luke Perry ever made. "Jon and Kate Plus 8" and the subsequent celebrity status of its stars is just one more reason why either the Mayans were right and we're on our way out or why the Chinese are going to act soon to prevent us from ruining all of the collateral for their loans (or both).

8 government: Eighth Amendment prohibits cruel and unusual punishment and excessive bail. The eighth president was Martin Van Buren, who, ironically to some current candidates for Alabama governor, was both the first President actually born a United States citizen and the only President not to speak English as his first language (he spoke Dutch). Article I, Section 8 of the US Constitution provides for the powers of Congress - and forms the basis for many constitutional challenges to legislation.

And finally, like Paul and John said, "eight days a week/is not enough to show I care."

So show you care, and it'll only take a few seconds - Join TEAM 33. If you can join us for the Walk at Atlantic Station on May 22, please do! Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. AND YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD! For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Eat super turkey legs, take every woman in England to bed, and just look awesomely rotund like Henry VIII. And we'll have cake.

And visit http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/ for more.

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!

Countdown to Glory: 9 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 9 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

Number nine. Number nine. Number nine. Number nine. Repeat for eight minutes or so.

Not gonna lie. Been excited about this one for a while. Nine is awesome, because it's 3 times 3. Or is it? In my view, 3 times 3 equals RADICAL.

Nine is naughty, so sayeth Schoolhouse Rock. And Eliot Spitzer, AKA, Client Number 9, might agree. Or perhaps he was slipped a little of "Love Potion No. 9"?

Nine is the best number in baseball. 9 innings. Three strikes in an out times three outs in an inning. There are 9 players on each team. 9 was worn by Roger Maris, Bill Mazeroski, Catfish Hunter, Mister October Reggie Jackson, and perhaps the best pure hitter of all time, Ted Williams. But there might be one baseball player who wore number 9 and was even greater than any of them, even if he's fictional. It's Roy Hobbs, whose #9 New York Knights jersey was stained with blood when he used not-Wonderboy to shatter the lights in the greatest filmed sports scene of all time.

Nine isn't too shabby a number for other too. Lots of NFL starting quarterbacks wear number nine: Carson Palmer, David Garrard, Tony Romo, the late Steve McNair, and current Super Bowl Champion Drew Brees. Three of the greatest hockey players of all time wore #9: Bobby Hull, Rocket Richard and Gordie Howe (and the Great One wore 99). Not too many basketball players wear #9, but there are still a couple of good ones: Tony Parker and Rajon Rondo, for example. Jordan and Dwyane Wade wore #9 when they played for the USA. In soccer, some of the world's most prolific scorers today wear #9: Cristiano Ronaldo, Fernando Torres, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Samuel Eto'o, Wayne Rooney (for England), Landon Donovan (for Everton), the old fat Ronaldo, Alan Shearer, Roger Milla, and (equal opportunity here) Mia Hamm.

There are nine planets. Yes, NINE. Pluto was a planet when I was taught it, and that does not change. NINE.

Nine is a lucky number. Not (necessarily) in the sense that you might win if you bet on 9 at the roulette table. No, apparently "lucky number" is a mathematical concept, based upon a sieve of elimination where numbers are stricken based upon their particular order (first you eliminate every second number, then every third, then every seventh, then every ninth). I don't get it, and it's somehow similar to prime numbers (which I also don't really get). So I'll leave it at that.

There are nine justices on the Supreme Court. Ubiquitous Jeffrey Toobin wrote a book about the court called "The Nine." Had Franklin Roosevelt gotten his way, or had the sitting court not begun upholding the constitutionality of New Deal legislation, perhaps there wouldn't be just nine justices today.

Nine was also an important number in our nation's history: New Hampshire was the ninth state to ratify the Constitution, and with its ratification, the Constitution took effect. The Ninth Amendment states that the rights enumerated in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights are not intended to be exclusive or comprehensive, and that those not mentioned are reserved to the people. Therefore, it is my Constitutionally-protected right to sell over the internet uranium-laced candy cigarettes to married homosexuals (none of which is enumerated in the Constitution). Please refer to Glenn Beck's Constitutional Law Primer for further information.

Nine is a part of my favorite movie of the last year. No, not the widely panned musical starring Penelope Cruz, Nicole Kidman and Daniel Day-Lewis. Who thought that movie was a good idea? Someone who went into a coma in 2002? Someone who only gets their news from Vanity Fair magazine? Someone with bad taste? No, no, no. My favorite movie from last year was District 9. And I'm not a sci-fi guy. It's just a really good movie - it's exciting, cleverly written, with stunning special effects that don't really make the movie look fake, and it's thought-provoking without badgering. And it has sadistically insane Nigerian gangsters who control the district's black market weaponry sales by dealing cat food to the aliens. I found that utterly awesome. If you haven't seen District 9, see it. It's great.

ninemillion.org is a pretty great concept. It's a campaign associated with the United Nations' High Commissioner for Refugees, in partnership with Microsoft and Nike, seeking to provide access to education, technology and sport to displaced children (think refugees from Darfur, Rwanda, Congo, Iraq, Sierra Leone, etc). Also: a big supporter of this is Luol Deng, the Chicago Bulls star who wears, you guessed it, a #9 jersey.

No argument here: Nine is awesome. Let's make nine special: join TEAM 33 today in honor of #9. Make a contribution with a 9 at the end of it. Do it!

Join TEAM 33. If you can join us for the Walk at Atlantic Station on May 22, please do! Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. AND YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD! For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Mash up Cookie Monster and Rammstein in the most awesome way possible. And we'll have cake.

And visit http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/ for more.

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!

Countdown to Glory: 10 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 10 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

Before I get into the number 10, I need to do some equal time and access. Yesterday I wrote about my daughter's birthday. Well, in our family we knock out birthdays in one full swoop. And today we got to celebrate my son Finn's first birthday. First birthdays are great, because a one year old cannot be disappointed. It's impossible. Finn thinks windows are unbelievably interesting. Ceiling fans blow his mind. Today he had a permanent grin on his face. Of course, today isn't much different from most days. He's in a phase where he's learning constantly. And he loves it. He's a brilliant, curious, vocal kid. And I'm incredibly proud of him. Back on day 27, I wrote about how lupus tried to hurt my wife and kids. Here's how: my wife suffered a particularly virulent flare while pregnant with Finn. Because we had some knowledge of how lupus had affected Kerry's pregnancy with Claire, the docs tried a more proactive approach in managing the disease. Kerry was prescribed prednisone, and while that helped with the flare, it might've slowed down Finn's development. Our kids are early arrivals, so when Finn got here 1 year ago today, he wasn't entirely ready to go. He spent a few days in the NICU. We were lucky and blessed. He responded quickly and now he's flourished. But those couple of days were pretty miserable. I cannot even imagine the experience for families who spend weeks and months watching their children in the NICU.

And it does hit home to me why the work of the Arthritis Foundation is so important: systemic, rheumatic diseases can inflict a lot of pain upon people, even the littlest, most vulnerable ones. I'm so proud of my little boy for how far he's come in the last year. And I know that there are a lot of kids that come into the world under tough circumstances. I truly hope and believe that the Arthritis Foundation's support

for research will one day lead to cures for arthritis-related diseases, and hopefully there will be significantly fewer kids facing challenges.

So about 10...

Ten can be perfection, like Nadia Comenici in Munich or Mary Lou Retton in LA.

Ten can be eternal genius, like Pele, Maradona and now Messi.

Ten can be nostalgic greatness, like Pearl Jam's "Ten".

Ten can be a standard, like the ten commandments, metric system or the decimal system.

And ten can represent initial greatness now institutionalized. Example: David Letterman's Top Ten list. Back in the day, the Top Ten list was one of the few subversive, ridiculous, clever outlets for comedy. Today, by the time the Top Ten list deals with a subject, the internet has made it passe.

Ten can be a singularly incredible performance, such as Vince Young's incredible showing in the 2006 Rose Bowl.

Ten can be infamous, like the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list. The current list features Victor Manuel Gerena, who was added to the list more than 25 years ago, before Mary Lou Retton got her 10s at the LA Olympics. If I've done the math correctly, a month or so ago, Gerena became the fugitive with the longest term on the list, passing Donald Eugene Webb. About Webb, there's an odd piece of trivia. Webb was removed from the list after 25 years and 10 months without ever being apprehended, and he was replaced by Shauntay Henderson - who wasn't even born when Webb went on the list. Ironically, Henderson was apprehended on her first day on the list (second shortest term in history).

I could go on for a while here. Probably best just to say that ten is a lot of things. But there is one way we know ten is not as great a number as 33: The Big Ten Conference. Plodding football, arrogant administrators and the inability to COUNT. Jim Delaney, you are not welcome on TEAM 33.

Recap: Happy Birthday, Finn. You rule. 10 can be good but it tries to do too much and ends up weak. 33 is better.

Join TEAM 33. If you can join us for the Walk at Atlantic Station on May 22, please do! Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. AND YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD! For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Wear a gold swimsuit, braid your hair in cornrows, and attempt to seduce Dudley Moore with Ravel's Bolero playing . And we'll have cake.

JOIN TEAM 33!

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!

Countdown to Glory: 11 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 11 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

Today's email goes all the way to eleven, because there is a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT that simply has to be blasted at beyond full volume.

I know that you've been begging for it, so now you you can get off your knees.

THE OFFICIAL TEAM 33 EMAILS NOW HAVE A HOME ONLINE.

http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/

Now you do not have to hunt back through your e-mail inbox to find that one point where I made a joke about James Buchanan. Now, if you "accidentally" deleted one of the missives, you can atone for such a grave mistake.

And as an exciting bonus, now the emails are annotated and illustrated! Links! Ridiculous pictures! Perhaps even some form of reason behind the meandering and incomprehensible stream of consciousness! And one or two of my innumerable typos are even corrected!

Most importantly, this is a great opportunity for you. Now you don't have to forward my daily email to all of your email contacts, in an effort to recruit more members for TEAM 33. All you have to do is send the link (http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/) on to anyone, and surely they'll bookmark the site and return daily (after joining the team and donating a king's ransom, naturally).

So spread the word: http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/ It's the one place to go for all your TEAM 33 updates. And it's easy. Go there. Leave a comment. Suggest the website to everyone you know. Especially everyone you want to annoy greatly.

And on that note, back to 11...

Actually, let's not just yet. One last point on #12. I admitted yesterday that 12 was a great number. Today, it occurred to me that 1+2 = 3... as in 33! And then the wife let me know that her jersey number when she played softball and soccer was always #12. So 12 really is great. Take note.

Alright. Finally, 11. Hmmm... This is kind of a tough one, because just about every google search takes you to something about September 11th. I can't ignore the date, and none of us will ever forget it. But I also think that it's disrespectful for me to write about that day with the tone I've taken in these emails. So we'll talk about other elevens.

And here's a very good one. We have 11 days to go until the walk, and today is May 11th. May 11th is an awesome day. Probably one of the 3 best days of my life. Three years ago (3 * 11 = 33) my hilarious daughter was born. Then she looked like she was constantly sucking on a lemon and she had a little bruised face. Now she looks like me with crazy hair and she has a constantly chocolatey face. And she says something outrageously hilarious hourly. She's probably the funniest human being who has ever lived. See http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/ for further evidence.

Eleven is a magic number for sports, as that's the number of players on the field in football, soccer, cricket and field hockey. Mark Messier, Isiah Thomas, Yao Ming and Darrell Waltrip bore number 11.

And finally, not to rush things along too quickly, but let's take note that we're in the eleventh hour here when it comes to drumming up support for TEAM 33. We're 2/3rds of the way through the countdown, but we're still way short of our goal for team members. And while I'm incredibly grateful for every contribution so far, we're not to 2/3rds of the way to our goal. We can get there. We will get there. But time is running out. If you haven't joined TEAM 33 yet, don't wait! If you have joined or contributed, THANK YOU, and please spread the word! If everyone who gets this email sends the link to the annotated and illustrated emails to a few friends or family, we'll cast a much wider net - for more people to sign up for instant greatness. WE CAN DO THIS.

Join TEAM 33. If you can join us for the Walk at Atlantic Station on May 22, please do! Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. AND YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD! For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Rob Terry Benedict's casino of all of its awesomeness right under his nose. And we'll have cake.

JOIN TEAM 33!

And visit http://team33arthritiswalk.blogspot.com/ for more.

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!

Countdown to Glory: 12 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 12 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

Twelve is a bit of a religious number. 12 apostles. 12 Tribes of Israel. 12 Greek Gods in the Pantheon. 12 Labors of Hercules. 12 Days of Christmas. 12 signs of the zodiac.

Twelve is also important for the government. 12 jurors. 12 regional Federal Reserve Banks. And, of course, the Majestic 12 committee to continue the cover-up of alien invasions.

Twelfth Night is a Shakespearean comedy, which was reinterpreted as the teen-comedy "She's the Man" starring Amanda Bynes as the girl posing as a boy. I have not seen this film, so I cannot vouch for whether it is good or not. However, any movie starring Channing Tatum in one of the lead male roles is bound to require mad tight acting, yo. Also, David Cross needs money. I can, however, get behind Vinnie Jones as a soccer coach. Only would his on-field propensity for grabbing opponents by the danglers serve to ruin the ridiculous plot?

Movies: I can't figure out what is the best of the many movies with 12 in the title.

- It's not Ocean's Twelve, which is only memorable because Catherine Zeta Jones never looked better.

- It might be 12 Angry Men, but I had one big plot problem with it: the knife. The evidence presented stated that the knife was unusual, but then Juror #8 produces a supposedly identical one from his pocket. First off, that seems like they're considering facts and circumstances not in evidence. Second, two knives could look alike superficially, but there could be significant forensic details not visible to the naked eye and unique to just one knife. Third, and most importantly, HOW DID THE JUROR GET A KNIFE INTO THE COURTHOUSE TO TAKE INTO THE DELIBERATION ROOM? That knife he produces sways the first other juror to acquittal. Without Juror #8 bringing in the second knife, acquittal never happens. That's always bothered me.

- Twelve Monkeys? I liked it, arguably it produced the first evidence that Brad Pitt could actually act, and the film seems quite prescient, considering the 21st century terrorism fears. That's good, but not the greatest.

- That'd be The Dirty Dozen. Yep. That's #1, because it has Jim Brown sprinting and throwing grenades. And Lee Marvin being awesome. And Charles Bronson being sarcastic. And Telly Savalas being creepy beyond belief. And Nazis getting killed.

E. King Gill is the original 12th Man, which is a pretty awesome tradition at Texas A&M. In 1922, when the Aggies were playing the defending national champs Centre College, players started getting hurt at an alarming rate. The coach feared that they'd not have enough players to finish the game. So Gill came out of the stands and donned the uniform of one of the injured Aggies.

He didn't get in the game, but was the only player wearing the Aggie uniform on the sidelines (everyone else was injured). Now, all students at Texas A&M call themselves the 12th Man and stand the entire game, as if they are ready to get in the game just like Gill. Also, the Aggie football program has used walk-ons on kickoffs, with one wearing the number 12 in honor of Gill. One other thing: because the students are the 12th Man, there is the view that when the Aggies score, they all "score" - and that's why Texas A&M students kiss their dates after each touchdown or field goal.

12 is one of the quarterback numbers of choice: Tom Brady, Terry Bradshaw, Jim Kelly, Roger Staubach, Ken Stabler and Broadway Joe Namath.

"12 Play" is the debut album from musical genius and crazy person R. Kelly. Yes, it featured the hit song and classically romantic love poem, "Bump n' Grind". I am not kidding when I say that, notwithstanding "Bump n' Grind," the following are ACTUAL TITLES of songs on this album: "Freak Dat Body," "Sex Me Pts. 1 and 2," "Your Body's Callin'," and, finally, his magnum opus (and, yes, this is an ACTUAL TITLE), "I Like the Crotch on You." R. Kelly, you never cease to astound me.

Alright, 12. You've worn me down. 12 is awesome. I can't deny it. It's still not as great as 33, but it's awesome.

Join TEAM 33. If you can join us for the Walk at Atlantic Station on May 22, please do! Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Plan a top secret assault on the wehrmacht forces of Arthritis. And we'll have cake.

Four in one night! That deserves some sort of award, right? I know just the way: JOIN TEAM 33!

Finally, THE PREVIOUSLY-HINTED MASSIVE ANNOUNCEMENT GOES LIVE TOMORROW. YOU WILL BE IMPRESSED, AMUSED AND A LITTLE CONFUSED.

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!

Countdown to Glory: 13 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 13 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

Thirteen is a number that can either be horrible or kind of awesome. There is no in-between. If nothing else, 13 is not boring. Let's do this either/or style:

Horrible 13: Friday the 13th. It's unlucky. And the movies aren't very good. Not even for campiness.

Awesome 13: Thirteen original American colonies, 13 stripes on the American flag.

Horrible 13: Apollo 13. Failed to get to the moon, and, as you may recall from an earlier missive, letting the moon get the best of us is unacceptable. The movie was OK, I guess.

Awesome 13: The age Jewish boys become men, leading to very fun parties where dancing goofily is praised instead of mocked (a welcome respite for most 8th graders).

Horrible 13: Alex Rodriguez's jersey number. Roids + overpaid + Yankee + attempts to cheat on the field + Details photo shoot = total joke.

Awesome 13: Wilt Chamberlain's jersey number, and 13 * 13 * 13 * 13 = the estimated number of conquests by the Stilt. We're believing that hilarious claim, right?

Horrible 13: Loki, the shape-shifting 13th God of Norse myth, whose sole role is mischief making. He fights against the other Gods at Ragnarok. That's just dumb.

Awesome 13: The extra donut you get when you order a dozen.

Horrible 13: The number associated with Judas, as the 13th to sit at the table at the Last Supper.

Awesome 13: Olivia Wilde, as the impossibly attractive diagnoser on "House, M.D.". Seriously, she looks like what a computer-generated super hot girl would look like.

Horrible 13: The confusion architects must feel when forced to number the floors of skyscrapers with the 13 missing.

Awesome 13: Julius Caesar commanding the 13th Legion when crossing the Rubicon and jacta-ing the alea.

Horrible 13: The Thirteenth Warrior, a film about vikings starring Antonio Banderas that was simply not as bloody, brutal or interesting as it should've been. The wimpiest Mastodon song makes this movie cry.

Awesome 13: I mentioned Olivia Wilde already, didn't I? Well, howsabout Big Star's tune "Thirteen". Remember what we said about Paint it Black? Rock n roll is here to stay!

OK. I'm calling it a draw. 13 can be kind of awesome. 13 can be truly awful. 33 is only awesome. Therefore, 33 > 13.

Join TEAM 33. If you can join us for the Walk at Atlantic Station on May 22, please do! Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Jam out to the Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling" at a Bar Mitzvah for awesomeness. And we'll have cake.

These emails are about to become threats unless you JOIN TEAM 33!

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!

Countdown to Glory: 14 to go

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. 14 DAYS TO GLORY!!!

Fourteen is one of the less interesting numbers I've approached thus far. There just isn't all that much that's funny about 14. Sure, there are some interesting facts and trivia, but nothing that's inspiring. Selah, I suppose I'll just do this quickly, in boring list style... just like Woodrow Wilson's Fourteen Points speech to congress where he enumerated the reasons for fighting World War I.

14 is the atomic number for Silicon, without which I could not draft these emails, and without which you could not read these emails. I suppose I could send out snail-mail copies of these missives to all of you each day, but think of the trees that would be killed due to the paper and think of the innocent bystanders killed by deranged postmen forced into longer hours due to their increased volume of mail. So, umm, thanks Silicon?

There are 14 lines in a sonnet. I recall having to memorize Wordsworth's "The World is Too Much with Us" back in some English class. At the time (I think) I thought of the poem as some sort of idealistic crypto-hippie pabulum. Now, I think it actually is idealistic crypto-hippie pabulum, but that doesn't make it less true.

In sports, 14 is a pretty great number. Hall of Famers Jim Rice and Ernie Banks wore 14. So did Senator Jim Bunning. As did Charlie Hustle, Pete Rose, though you could rarely read the number on the front of his jersey due to the dirt. Dan Fouts wore 14, though you might not have ever seen the number due to the inability to look at anything but his spectacular beard. In soccer, 14 is the number of Dutch midfield genius Johan Cruyff. I could write way too much about Cruyff [EDITOR'S NOTE: WATCH THIS LINK AT 0:35], so just know that (in my opinion) he changed European soccer from a staccato military march into a mellifluous romantic symphony.

Join TEAM 33. If you can join us for the Walk at Atlantic Station on May 22, please do! Bring your friends and family, including dogs. If you can't come, you can still join TEAM 33 or contribute in any way you'd like. For more information on joining TEAM 33 or contributing, please follow the link below:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=312420&u=312420-211716341

Join TEAM 33. Sign up. Spread the word to your friends and family. Join us at the walk. Give a few bucks for a great cause. Get banned from future walks for placing winning prop bets on "Which walk team is the most awesome". And we'll have cake.

Just join. Seriously. I'm about to get even more ridiculous here. Do you really want that to happen? JOIN TEAM 33!

If you have any questions about how incredibly awesome TEAM 33 is, give me a call or send me an email. Thanks again!